The chain that binds our feet in our past

In life we experience to fail others by our wrong actions, but sometimes they are the ones who offend us, and for some reasons we also fail to forgive them. But why people choose to let go of the hurt and choose not to forgive.

Sin cannot be measured by its weight, or anything you can think of, regardless if it’s just a word or rumor you spread, violent act of murder, petty larceny, or what some people referred as white lies, all untowardness is a sin, any act that could or would harm someone is indeed a sin. But it doesn’t mean the offender doesn’t deserve to have a second chance or forgiveness, we have this conception of untowardness to others when it is great offense they can never be forgiven, and because you only did small offense it is justifiable and you are right.

Pride, according to the American Heritage Dictionary is a proper and justified self respect, a conceit of arrogance. In other words, it is an indulgence of self importance in which all of us gained and developed since we reached the state of our consciousness; pride may help us somehow in dealing with life’s battle, but on the other hand it will also cause us to fall from where we thought we stood, pride is a symbol of failing to accept and being humble, pride is a sign of arrogance and hatred, an angel fell from heaven because of pride, in other words it is in itself a sin.

When we struggle so much in life we tend to harden our hearts as a defense to protect our grounds, we build walls around it, put guards to prevent future attacks from anyone, we have this notion that these walls would keep us from being hurt again, but we are all human, whether we like it or not we will struggle, we will be hurt by circumstances, others opinion, decisions, or actions it is normal, we cannot prevent things from happening, what matters is how we respond to the situations we face every day. We can have an unforgiving heart or we can open our hearts for forgiveness.

What happens in the past will remain in the past, whether we forgive or not, but if you want to stay in the past is also a decision you make, what keeps us from moving are the chain that binds our feet from starting a new life; hate, bitterness and revengeful mind will not make us a better person, it will only cause us more to suffer, and hurt more while we breathe, it is like cutting your source of life. It isn’t easy to forgive; I know that, it isn’t easy to allow the person who offended you to be given a chance, but we are all sinners, how can we not forgive, we also need forgiveness. When you hate, you only allow yourself to be a slave in your past mistakes, and the mistake of others.

Using pride as a shield is not bravery in fact, it is cowardness; remember offending is easier than forgiving, because forgiving requires great strength and understanding, forgiveness is not an agreement of their wrong actions towards you, although it needs a lot of effort to do so, this must be done and understand. Forgiveness is not a weakness because it requires great strength. We are all sinners in this world and all of us needs forgiveness from God, we are not innocent people who knew nothing but pride, we all know if we won’t forgive we can’t receive forgiveness from him.

Let us not treat pride as if it’s a friend that we can depend in times of trouble like this. We don’t need to rationalize everything just to make a point in not forgiving. We are all human beings raised in one particular place capable of offending and capable of being offended, in other words capable of sin. But being real human is not to keep ourselves drown with bitterness, If we can make ourselves fall, we can also make ourselves rise from that fall

Pride will push us down, and if we let it manifest in our system we might not rise at all. If we keep on reasoning and questioning; then no one will ever be forgiven.

Remember vengeance is in God’s hands not ours.

True forgiveness is humility and acceptance, erasing the past behind us and move on to the next phase of your life. Accept what has happened and find reason to heal and learn from the mistake of others and yours.

 “You can’t correct someone’s mistake by getting even or settling scores with them. But at least you can choose the right or justifiable response to their wrong doings towards you and that defines you as a person.

We all encounter different kinds of transgressions if we are not the sinner; we are the victim of their sin. Remember that life is a journey and this world is our road to perdition. We should be aware of that; and the only way for us to redirect that road to the higher ground is first we must ask forgiveness from God for our sins, and we should learn to forgive those who sin against us.

As what I said Sin cannot be measured by how it was done; we should note that all unrighteousness is a transgression; anyone who does what is wrong is an offense. Men are prone to classify sin as little or great, whether it is black or gray, mortal or venial. To God, all sin is offensive and objectionable.

Forgiveness is immeasurable, just like sin, but it can conquer all of our wrong doings; it is indeed justice, it is light as a feather but it is so powerful that any faults can be defeated. It is grace of God, it is humbling and strength, it is God’s gift, it is written, and it is priceless.

Therefore he who knows what is right will do right and the right thing to do is to forgive



Why things do not happen according to plan?

There are many situations in life we will meet failure, plans been made for years and turned out to be the exact opposite of what we want to happen, whatever it is in other words it’s not the way you planned from the beginning. It happens to me, it made me really upset and felt like there is nothing I can do, I sometimes feel helpless and useless, the lesser I feel motivated, the less resolution I can think of, by the way it didn’t help, so since the universe is against my plan I was able to find a way to look at things in a different perspective. Maybe it is not really against me after all; maybe it is only teaching me a lesson in a hard way.


When I was kid I think big of my future, if you have big dreams it means you really have ambitions, if you have ambition you will do good and strive hard to get it. I thought life after college was easy, I realized, it was not, after I finished my studies and got my degree I felt I was thrown in the pacific ocean without any life jacket, without a boat, the only thing I have is the ability to swim, (yeah swim away till you get to your island of dreams). You know how hard it is, if you are not a good swimmer most probably you’ll drown. Well, I’m not a good swimmer, at least at first until I learn to float without struggling too hard with the current.


I have avoided conflicts in life, not to be eaten by shark or be swallowed by a whale, sometimes you can’t help to compare your situation to others, (“how come that bastard was able to get to that island with less effort than I do”), only to realize they have speedboat and I don’t have…. 😛 😛 (that sucks believe me), number one rule never compare yourself to others; maybe the universe has different plans for you, it is for you to figure it out.


We have to accept that there are things we cannot control; but at least we have something we can, that is ourselves, our thoughts and emotions towards the fact. don’t force things from happening, it might get worse, you might not achieve true happiness if you do, when life doesn’t go according to plan maybe because it is not yet time for you to have it, not meant for you to take or because you are in a wrong direction in achieving it.

Whatever it is learn to make adjustments in life, and appreciate the things that are already in front of you, open your eyes to a possibility, you cannot stay with plan A forever, you must learn that there is always plan B and a plan C.

Regardless of how many plans it takes you to fulfill a dream as long you are not losing hope that should continue your life the way it should.


You might be well equipped in achieving your goals in life,

But no matter how well you navigate your fate, if the wind is not letting you go in that direction then you must learn to submit, freewill is granted so that we can decide for ourselves, but your choices also depends on the option the universe is offering you, so that you will be in the right track… sometimes we pursue too hard to a dream that will only make us feel empty and bitter in the end.

Fear of not being able to get what we want is a cause that holds a person from moving to a right direction, we entertain pressure of society because we think people’s approval always matters the most, we worry a lot and think we are not good enough in meeting someone else’s expectations, all these are the obvious reasons why our mind is clouded and are unable to get the happiness that we are looking for, if we cannot find peace within ourselves, then happiness might be impossible to achieve, as you know peace is within you and me, it cannot be attain with all these outside blah that only your eyes can see.

When things seem not happening according to plan, you better check what is impeding the path, is it the wind that is making you shift in a different course, or fears that is haunting you to even grasp your future.

The bottom line here is we all make plans for our future reality to be happy, but plans are just plan, if you can make one, then you can make another or more than that, being successful requires you to have better plan, willingness to change perspectives, determination to act on that plan to make it real, but you must learn how to submit and let it guide you to a life that you deserve.



Is your character a result of your choice or is your choice a result of your character

We are all unique individuals, we all do, and each of us has our own characteristics, although characters can influence the way we make choices in life, but most of our choices determine our characters in the end. Characters developed by the time we were able to speak, understand, and respond in our environment, it can be influenced by how we were raised by our parents, it can also affect us based on our beliefs, religion, and ethnicities. So if these things listed can influence or affect our decision making that does mean it will be the result of our characters? I believe it works both ways. 😛

Everyday we encounter and face many choices, from simple to complex, from choosing what food to eat, what clothes to wear, if you will go to work or not, if you will lie or tell the truth, if you will ride a bus or a cab, if you will smash someone’s face on a desk because you just had a bad day; but of course smashing someone’s face is not always and good option but given under any circumstances it is still a choice 😛

Why we are given all these many choices every day? Do we really need to choose? Given all those choices is part or everyday’s life, there isn’t any scientific explanation for that, it is just a simple logic, as long as you breathe and continue living this option will be by your side every single second of every day. And yes, we will make a decision as long as we live to choose is simply like breathing air it is necessary, not to choose is also a choice so it is a complete absolute. There is no such as a thing as NO CHOICE, because there is always a CHOICE only dead person cannot make a decision.

Wise decision making sometimes depends on our views in life, that part alone plays a big role, while it greatly influenced our behavior in making such options; it sometimes outlines the obvious outcome of our choices.

Some people may think most of their decisions are right, if you are a self-righteous person you might think that way, but let us not forget our choices always have outcomes, we don’t know what’s inside the box until we open the lid. Like when a person gets hurt or offended by a friend’s mistake or shortcomings, it doesn’t matter what kind of person you are, as long as you know forgiveness is the best option then you will forgive that person, although you know forgiving might take time to take place but it will come eventually if you choose to.

The conflict is if a person has developed pride in his/her heart that will need a lot of time to work out, if s/he has an attitude like this; I’m a better person, I’m kind, I don’t deserve to be treated like this, making no room for forgiveness will be a better choice.

We all make mistakes no one is perfect when it comes to choosing rough edges and aggressiveness most of us sometimes don’t think things through, offending someone became the result of that stupidity, if we are not cautious or if we are selfish things like that happens. You see how our characters affect our decision making, but choosing to correct the mistake we made is always available for us to take.

When we disregard options of opening our mind to a great possibility, we will not be able to see the whole picture, being blind limits our function as a human, being hurt is not an optional feeling, no one wants to be offended, and as a recipient of that bad behavior of a person we tend to harbor anger in our heart, no one is exempted not to feel pain, in time wounds will heal, it should, if we choose to be healed, remember a wound can be infected if we let it, to let things from happening is a choice, so if this infection gets worst then we might not be able to heal our wounded spirit, making an excuse not to forgive is a product of pride that has consumed one’s spirit and without even knowing it we became a new person, now the person that was once meek and amiable has become history of who you are, because now you chose to welcome yourself to the world of pride and bitter society. It is indeed depending on the situation, depending how hard a person was violated by another individual, but we must learn that ones chosen action can lead to another man’s reaction, choosing an action towards a situation determines who we are.

Character represent each of us, it is who we are, it is what we are, but what makes us real human is our choices, a choice may be a dead end or the continuation of our journey in life. A choice that is hard because it is undetermined and a choice that is easy because the result is visible to see. Always remember wrong and right decision are both available to be picked by anyone, each of them has outcome that awaits us, even an option that seems to be wrong at first can be right in the end. So regardless how bright or smart you are, everyone can make wrong choices your response towards the outcome will become the result of your character.
From the beginning the power of freewill has shaped our destiny, the past has became history and freedom to choose is in our hands to correct the errors of our behavior to avoid bad situation from happening again; few of our choices may be overruled by our characteristics, but it doesn’t mean that all person that has a weak personalities will only have a weak decisions for the rest of their lives, while strong person will only have better option without making any mistakes. Whatever you are or whoever you are you can make wrong choices, but you can still make it right if you want to, if you fail you can still be a winner, becoming miserable base on the outcome of your wrong choices won’t help, but if you stay that way it is because you make it happen. 🙂 🙂 🙂


How wild will I go with my little friend?

The unruly tongue

I suppose we are not aware of the words we say all the time. Unconsciously we just say things because we feel like saying it without even realizing we already offended a person. We speak to communicate; we talk because we have a mouth and tongue; we use this to interact and to make them understand what’s inside our thoughts and heart. We can speak a thousand words per hour not being aware of it; if there could be an odd job to do that is to count the words we say per second. We can talk without an effort, not getting tired of using our mouth. We can run or walk using our feet; we can write or do a task using our hands; but once we get tired of it we stop. A normal reaction of our body; Sometimes we stop using them because of some injury; imagine a broken ankle or a metacarpal, a fracture that causes these two helpers to rest, sometimes even forever it depends on the injury. Our tongue never experienced this kind of injuries; they are the ones who injure; as long as there are words to say it never ceases to work. And it never ceases to amaze me still how a word can be so powerful that it cuts like a knife deep within our soul. “A word is just a trap away” words can be so damaging or simply just so comforting; it can be so satisfying and provoking.

“We behave like animals most oftenly that we cannot control even our own tongue “

Communication is part of everyday’s life, it serves as the medium between people, in business if you don’t know the language you cannot be part of that league. Every transaction, there is communication, whether it be talking with sign language or not; but a wrong communication leads to misunderstanding so we have to be careful in what we are saying. Expressing thoughts, Ideas and feelings are part of communication, sometimes to defend ourselves when ego is being compromised, or to cover something that we did just to avoid trouble, we also use it to slander, to make and to spread false rumors, or simply just to talk about somebody else’s lives for fun. Its function is very extraordinary, and it is amazing how easy it is to murder our own spirit simply by using our tongue in such a way that we are not aware of. We oftenly use our tongue in a more damaging way, deceive ourselves that we are not doing anything wrong in our lives were in fact, our little friend from inside our mouth where it is hiding is right there being guilty of backbiting, slandering, lying and simply just by complaining.

A man can make impossible things possible. They can learn stuff in such a simple time; invent things that will make our lives a lot easier. Alexander Graham Bell invented telephone so that he can transport messages from one place to another, a brilliant idea that has made our lives superb, I can give him a straight excellent applause for that excellent job. As years go by that excellent invention has modernized, telephone wire is not really necessary to transport messages to a recipient, satellite do all the jobs for transmitting messages all over the world, so much excellent job for these genius people, for them nothing is unconquerable; but can they conquer their super extraordinary friend that hides between their teeth?

How many people have been beaten badly, damage millions over the century by rumors, false rumors, and deceitfulness by our friend and worst enemy.

The good thing about talking is we are able to express our thoughts in words, everything we feel, or think, opinion about certain things like politics, the movie we watched, criticism about a person about an artist, we all do it simply by talking.

When we learn new things in life we get so excited that we feel the need to tell it to our significant others, when we’re hurt, we look for a friend to talk so that we can release the pain that bothers us, so bothering that expressing it by words is the only solution. But of course it won’t solve the problem; it only lessens the pain for a few moments.

But a heart that has full of bitterness and hatred will definitely express it by words in delivering harsh sentiments to a person he or she is having arguments with. We say things we don’t really mean, but sometimes we do, and those bad words, we mean to say has one sole purpose to inflict pain to others, while a person that is guilty spitting all the poison of hate and anger from her/his tongue that person also inflicts pain in his/her heart.

We are all permitted to talk, it is a freedom that each of us has granted.

An ability to speak is a gift, let us not abuse it in a way that we cannot control what we are saying, at least try to meditate everything we said for the last 24 hours. Although we were given a freedom to speak; we are not permitted to hurt and offend a person’s feelings, because harsh words are so harmful that it damages even our own spirit. Our tongue is like a sword that cuts within, it can destroy almost everything, trust, confidence, faith and beliefs. It is like a virus in a computer, it corrupts the entire system; a bacterium that mutates from a simple fever to a deadly disease that its contagion cannot be controlled.

The tongue is so sharp that it damage someone even from a simple gossip; although most of us declare as non gossipers, but all of us are guilty of that sin, a gossip will start as a small spark in a single stick of a match that it spreads like wildfire in a forest, it cannot be stopped from spreading until it reaches to break a spirit.

A tongue is like a wild animal that bites and devour its prey when not tamed, to slander is another sin, and it is much more harmful than just a simple gossip, when a person tells someone untrue about someone that is slandering. Destructing its reputation, defaming to humiliate a person is not acceptable. Many people have been bitten by its sharp fangs, left with scars of hate that has marked invisibly on their hearts causing much bitterness to someone who slanders them.

Our tongue is made and designed to be of great power, remember words are very powerful it can heal a heart when broken, it can enlighten our souls when lost, but it can also be so destructive like a nuclear bomb when dropped, its destruction is unfathomable. So if we cannot say anything good about a person or anything we might as well SHUT UP. 

Eessangj 😸