A year ago I made a terrible mistake, yes; terrible is the right term to use in that sentence since that is how I made a person felt when I did it. It wasn’t my intention to make it that way, I only needed some space, you know when your head is polluted with all the things that occupies your brain, making you feel uncomfortable to deal with reality, it’s just hard to handle situation when it is out of control.
I just find it hard to understand why it all ended the way it ended, maybe I know why, only I cannot accept the complexity I have endured in our friendship.
I’m writing this, not to celebrate one year of losing a friend, but to state my case that I am closing the door of my past, including the friendship I have with him.
But wherever he may be I know he is fine, I’m saying Goodbye because I felt, I only have a bit of memory left from our friendship, it won’t be long I might not remember us anymore, I might forget his face, his remarkable name, his smile and the names we call each other. how strange it is to know we started being strangers and we will end on the same level once again.
I never thought I’ll be missing a person so much like this, that it felt something in me has died.
I can’t compare him to any of them because he showed me a different friendship, my life with him was so exceptional, but I’m sorry for turning my back, I’m sorry to make him feel so betrayed when I left, I was so stupid to leave when he needed me the most.
Thanks for the memories, I know it has all etched in my heart, I may forget everything; but one day I will be reminded with the pain and the happiness I had when we’re both convinced our friendship has its strong foundation, I hope I will be reminded, but that’s just a hope, at least in that way I will be able to enjoy our happy moments together and our bitter ending.
They say we cannot forget, but when you move away you can only remember few of the things you left behind, until you cannot recall it any longer, or it has no meaning to you anymore to even remind you of it.
We cannot hang on to the past that long, we need to let go of our grudges and our pain including our memories together, life should continue with or without our friendship, it was a nice experience I learned a lot from him, when I thought I will never have a Best Friend he showed me it was possible.
I’m glad I met a friend like him, I will not regret the day our friendship has started, my only regret is, I did not tell him how blessed I am to have him as My Best Friend, even only for a short period of time.